What IS IT with sex?

Exhausted

I don’t know if it’s just me, or if anyone else can relate to the unfairness of sex. I spent last night in the pleasant company of two bisexual guys and we all had a great deal of fun – three ways.

This experience was partly research for a new short story idea, and partly to ease an ache to be filled (you know what I mean, right ladies?). No-one can say that I’m not committed to my art. 😀

I wanted to get the low-down on how guys fuck (each other) and I was surprised by a couple of things that I thought I knew – but clearly didn’t!

At some point during their demonstration I found that I was so turned on by their fucking that I couldn’t help but gravitate towards the bed – and found myself getting fully involved with both of them.

Anyway, to get to the point, I was appalled to find that an hour or after having had a thoroughly pleasant time with these guys (and reaching the point where I had to wheeze ‘stop – please!’) that I retained no sensation of the evening’s activities at all.

Nothing. Even the warm glow in my tummy had faded.

Sure, this morning my thighs and my butt cheeks ached (I was trying to be uncharacteristically flexible in order to try out ALL the positions), but if last night had been a drunken haze, then this morning I could NOT have been certain that anything other than some light gymnastics or some over-enthusiastic dancing had taken place.

What the hell?  Where’s the lasting afterglow?  Where’s the week-long ‘ahhhh’ that should follow sex? It’s as if my body has just shrugged and said ‘right, now let’s get on with the day.’

What am I doing wrong?  Am I being too vanilla  (Hello…threesome?  Bi-guys in all three…ahem…too much info)?

No, I’m sorry, it’s just not good enough.  Mother Nature, I want a word with you! I want a memento of last night’s undignified hammering where I got nailed…um…damn it, I can’t even remember how many times!

*sigh*

STOP PRESS; I was showering a couple of hours later and realised that my nipples were unusually tender from the rough treatment they’d received.

BIG DEAL! I could’ve gotten the same sensation from jogging round the park in a cheap bra…

If a woman woke up as a man…

If a woman was to wake up one Saturday morning as an adult male, with a timer nearby counting backwards 23:59:44; 23:59:43… (to assure her that it wasn’t permanent) what do you think she would do with her remaining hours?

Think quickly because her time is running out.

.

Here’s a couple of thoughts to start you off;

1)  She’d get out of bed immediately and jump up and down to see if a flapping willy felt as ridiculous as it looked.

2) She’d rush to the bathroom and enjoy – just for once – not having to sit down to pee.

3) She’d jog around the house to try to understand how men can even walk with all that tackle getting in the way of their legs.

4) She’d NOT have to spend thirty minutes making herself look nice before going to the store.  Quick shave, brush of the hair and she’d be done!

and finally…

5) She’d get a drill and fix that darn shelf once and for all.

Please feel free to add any others! 😀

Annie

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